Ratzafratz

Ratzafratz! wishes everyone a great 230th birthday party.

Enjoy your friends and family and take a break from the rat race.

Thank you for sending me the enclosed 8 X 10 picture of you from your last concert series.

I have been following your career since your first single “Cheeks Don’t Lie” hit the mall. When you followed that with “Oops, you really did it now”, you had my heart forever.

I have seen your video for “Be My Little Baby Boy” now at least five billion times. I always find something new in each viewing.

The reason I am writing is you sent me the photo without a signature and the inscription I requested. To remind you it should say “To Cyrus, You are the rat that completes me”. If you could sign that for me, that would be great.

I’m sure it was just an oversight.

You biggest fan,

Cyrus

My name is Phillippe.

I take on the challenging role of “Urban” at Ratzafratzland.

I usually start my preparation for getting into character right after my morning yoga class.

Mrs. Ilsa Broonfeld, my teacher at the Fresno Repertory Theatre, has passed on to me the secrets of the method.

I try to remember when I was the hungriest and how good a cookie would taste. I find my nose starts naturally twitching. I become the rat.

I eat very little as well. It keeps the hunger on my mind as well as keeping me in good form. There are thousands of actors ready to jump in this rat suit if I can’t fit into it.

My name is Phillippe, but for the young and the young at heart…

I am Urban.

Come soon, Come often!

Ratzafratzland - “The Rattiest Place On Earth”

My name is “Bob”.

When you come to Ratzafratzland, I make sure that all your little nippers get to take a picture with Squawk, the lighthearted cartoon rat loved around the world.

Oh, sometimes they may spit up on me or kick me in tender territories, but I know this is your family’s once in a lifetime chance to get the full “Ratzafratz” experience.

My name is “Bob” and I’m a happy Ratzafratzland cast member.

Come soon, Come often!

Ratzafratzland - “The Rattiest Place On Earth”

Ratzafratzland
A subsidiary of Frederator Industries.

Bring the kids to the newest theme park in sunny, southern California, Ratzafratzland!

You can take pictures with our three lovable Ratzafratz characters, Cyrus (pictured), Urban and Squawk.

In “Mall-tastic”, we have a stage show with audience participation, where younger kids get a chance to grab the cookies and evade Crank, the security guard.

For the older kids, there’s a world class roller coaster, “The Rat Racer”. Also, if they dare, they can try to make their way through “The Rat Trap”.

We didn’t forget about you either, parents!

We have several rides where you can cool off, while the kids can enjoy the special effects laden, “The Rats of the Caribbean”. A rat’s life for me, indeed!

Come soon, Come often!

Ratzafratzland - “The Rattiest Place On Earth”

Ratzafratzland
A subsidiary of Frederator Industries.

Some people come to the mall to sit on their lazy bones and while away the day. I come to get my blood pumping, shake my fist at the sky and say “I’m not done yet”.

There are several distractions to mall walking including slow moving, window shopping, lookie loos and rambunctious older gentlemen who think they got what it takes to catch my eye.

I just have one thing to say to them. Please Stay to the Right!

Another distraction is the little furry vermin that run around thinking that they own the place.

Now, I’ve been catching rats, since before a president who your dad doesn’t even remember, was in office. They just better watch out, cause if I get close enough…

Take care, Sweetie.

Gladys, Mall Walker for Life

Working a part time job at the ‘Cookie Nook’ in the mall is the most horrible job in the entire world.

I was, like, working the other day and some old guy comes in and tells me how great cookies were when he was a kid and now they’re not.

In the meantime, the buzzer is going off in the back, cause the Butter Spritz are done and starting to burn.

Worst of all, my boss told me I can’t use my cell, just because some customer had to wait, like, ten seconds when I finished a call.

Life is so unfair,

Miranda, teen clerk at the Cookie Nook.

Ps. Oh yeah, sometimes we have rats!

Pps. I put the phone on vibrate, so it’s still OK to call [Read more…]