The Kelv Enthusiast: Life Among the Brogosz
In my last blog, I explained how the epic battle of Gorillas vs. Bears resulted in a complete tie. There was only one surviving beast from each army left at the end. The two animals looked around at the carnage of their fallen brothers and called a truce. Never again would they be exploited by the human race for their strength.
To make this vow last forever, the gorilla and bear mated right there on the battlefield. Their hybrid offspring would be the first of its race; The Brogosz. These half-gorilla half-bear creatures formed their own society deep in the hills of Kelv. They were left alone for centuries and treated with respect and awe by their countrymen. They continue to farm radishes to this very day.
**What the hell is this all about? It’s an excerpt from my upcoming magazine piece “The Kelv Enthusiast” to be published in Mammal Magazine, Spring 2007. Tune in for details.
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On January 5th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Gorillas would beat bears hands down. Aside from the opposable thumbs, the ability to use tools, and some low level sign language, bears don’t travel in groups.
On January 5th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Your points are accurate, Floyd. But you have to consider the fact that these gorillas were fighting in the empty plains of Gorvanc. That means they had nothing to use for tools, and there were no trees to climb. Their thumbs were useless. Only their fists mattered. And while bears don’t naturally travel in groups, these had been raised since cubs to fight as an army.
On January 5th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Bears would definitely win, they have the reach factor over gorillas and giant knife like claws that would kill a gorilla quickly unless the gorilla was fast enough to grab the swiping paw which is unlikely.
On January 6th, 2007 at 12:00 am
The bear would lose… and I have video proof:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6206220332112148774
If it wasn’t for the chicken and toucan, the gorilla would have gotten away with it.
On January 9th, 2007 at 12:00 am
I vote bears.
On January 22nd, 2007 at 12:00 am
No-one else bothered about a bear and a gorilla mating in a battlefield covered by the blood of their dead friends? Fight is all you can think of? Twisted Americans. And I vote for gorillas.