Dan Meth's Blog

Photo I took from the window of an airplane taking off from the Long Beach, CA airport:

Screenshot from Google Earth of the identical view:
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Last week I kept stumbling across weird and interesting cartoon-like objects as if all of California was in a Frederator state of mind. Here’s some photos:

A very threatening rubber mask of Moe from “The Simpsons” on Hollyweird Blvd.

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Just got back from the spectacular Frederator field trip to Hollywood. We had The Channel Frederator Awards, The Random Cartoon wrap party, and some behind-the-scenes tours of Nickelodeon. Here’s some photos.

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In 1949, the fascist government of Kelv was overthrown by a new political party: The Perpendikulon. The ideology of this new movement was simple: Everything should be perpendicular.

Led by a failed mathematical engineer named Enveyg Greygj, the Perpendiks led a mad crusade to restore order to the war-torn nation by rebuilding everything at right angles. Obviously the movement was hopeless…the Kelvic temperament does not lend itself to such rigid discipline.

However the Kelvics are not known for their rebellious spirit either. The lazy population allowed the Perpendikulon government to rule up until 1990. (Ironically since ‘90 is the degrees of a right angle, and therefore had been the year the Perpendikulons predicted they would have achieved a perpendicular utopia by)

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Three examples of my work re-mixed by people I’ve never met on the web:

My amateur mashup of George Benson and 50 cent caught the ear of a true mashup genius from Boston named DJBC. He had been playing it at parties for a while but wanted it to be longer and more danceable so he made his own remix of it. Take a listen and see how he increased the funk. This version was played at the weekly mashup club party Bootie in San Francisco and L.A.

These next ones are kind of weird. This guy took my Kosher.com cartoon and replaced the soundtrack with an Afrika Bambaattaa song. Why? I have no idea.

And this fellow took my cartoon “Hebrew Crunk” and just played with the colors and composition:

-DAN METH

K-Fed does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what anyone thinks. His music is his vision, he don’t about the public’s opinion. A true artist.

He feels good about the penny. Fire.

-D-METH

(click above image for a much better view of it)

In 1970, the Beach Boys arrived in Kelv to play a controversial concert at the Bladovak Opera House. Their intention was to bring a message of rebellion against the oppressive Perpendikulon government.

Unfortunately less that 1% of the Kelvic population understands English. The political lyrics of their song “Breakaway” were met by an uncomprehending audience.

The Beach Boys’ visit only deteriorated after the concert. Drummer Dennis Wilson tried to surf in the sea of Kyuuth and was mildly poisoned by the magnesium-filled waters. Singer Mike Love was involved in three separate street-fights. They were all so shaken by the strange things they saw in Kelv (especially leader Brian Wilson) that their demise as a band and individuals is widely regarded as a direct result of the tour.

**What the hell is this all about? It’s an excerpt from my upcoming magazine piece [Read more…]

So I rented a DVD of the early 60’s crime TV show “The Naked City”, which is famous for being filmed on the streets of New York City. Well, in this one episode, there is a scene that takes place in front of a newstand and look what is clearly hanging from a wall in the background; Spiderman.

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This is an archival photograph of Mark Twain meeting with Brogosz humorist Mat Kunk at a sidewalk cafe in Baldovgya, Kelv. October, 1909. Twain was unaccustomed to the strength of Kelvic coffee, and historians believe this meeting led to his death a few months later.

In my previous blog I explained how the last survivors of a gorilla vs. bear war mated to create a new race of creatures; The Brogosz. For 500 years, they lived in relative isolation in small villages within the foothills of the Dik Mountains of western Kelv. Humans left them alone, and the Brogosz rarely interacted with them except to sell the radishes they farmed (radishes being the main ingredient of Kelv’s national liquor).

It wasn’t until the late 1800’s that the Brogosz started to have a cultural renaissance; a flowering of human appreciation for their music, art, and literature. It became quite vogue in Kelvic cities [Read more…]

In my last blog, I explained how the epic battle of Gorillas vs. Bears resulted in a complete tie. There was only one surviving beast from each army left at the end. The two animals looked around at the carnage of their fallen brothers and called a truce. Never again would they be exploited by the human race for their strength.

To make this vow last forever, the gorilla and bear mated right there on the battlefield. Their hybrid offspring would be the first of its race; The Brogosz. These half-gorilla half-bear creatures formed their own society deep in the hills of Kelv. They were left alone for centuries and treated with respect and awe by their countrymen. They continue to farm radishes to this very day.

**What the hell is this all about? It’s an excerpt from my upcoming magazine piece “The Kelv Enthusiast” to be published in Mammal Magazine, [Read more…]